


When The Lights Go Out

by snokhachestvo (SheWalksInBeauty26)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Character Death, DISCLAIMER_ FICTION, Dark, Dark Reylo, Depression, Evil Kylo Ren, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Multiple Personalities, Murder, Mystery, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Predator/Prey, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Psychology, References to Depression, Sad Ben Solo, Serial Killers, Suicidal Ideation, Suicidal Thoughts, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:48:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23942602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheWalksInBeauty26/pseuds/snokhachestvo
Summary: Rey Johnson is Ben Solo's new psychologist.A man who struggles with loneliness, he charms Rey from the beginning, but what darkness is he hiding?
Relationships: Kaydel Ko Connix & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Maz Kanata & Ben Solo, Maz Kanata & Rey, Poe Dameron & Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27
Collections: Anniversary Fic Exchange 2020





	When The Lights Go Out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CoinToYourWitcher](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoinToYourWitcher/gifts).



> Thank you so much to my betas/ proofreaders/ psychology consultants, you know who you are. This was a new adventure, and I want to stress that though I suffer from mental illness, I do not claim to be a psychologist. Please read the tags and know that this is a work of fiction with no intent to harm anyone or make any claims about real life. I will attempt to be realistic but know that I am only human.
> 
> Please note the numbers used are from a generator, and town names will be mostly fictional.
> 
> If you stick around,
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Rey leans against her desk, mug in hand. 

She’s just finished a long but productive session with Mrs. Livingston **.** They’d talked through the divorce again, and finally, Jane had realized the root of her issues with her husband’s treatment of her. 

She now had a clear head for divorce court and the coming custody battle. 

Rey was so glad— this is what made her job worthwhile. Helping troubled people to feel better. 

She’d gained a recent spring in her step because, though she was a new practitioner, her recent internet listing had gained her a few new patients. 

Not that business was terrible— people were always going to be troubled. 

She strolled into the adjacent room where Kaydel, her new administrative assistant sat. 

She was Poe’s little sister, and Rey has hired her on as a favor. 

Seemed nice enough so far, good with patients. 

“Hey, who have I got next?”

Kaydel looked up from inputting data into the computer. 

She clicked into the little calendar icon which held the day’s docket and Rey’s schedule.

“Ummm… looks like a ‘Ben Solo’ at 3”

_Ah._

As a psychologist who specialized in women and families, Rey didn’t get a lot of single men. Still, every now and then she’d get a few older male clients, sometimes recommended by a girlfriend or wife. 

“Alright well, I’m gonna go finish up some paperwork for Livingston. Just call me when he gets here.”

“Will do.”

“Thanks, Kaydel.”

_____________

15 minutes later, as Rey is paging through some new research on CBT, the phone rings twice, quickly. 

Rey stands up from the desk and smooths her pencil skirt down, tucking her blouse in where it has begun to slide free. 

Her heels click as she makes her way to the front of the office. 

She emerges to the sight of a broad back in the shadows of the afternoon sun from the bay windows. 

Rey’s throat goes a little dry when she sees his mane of dark hair. 

Catching herself checking her patient out, she clears her throat. 

He turns and it takes a concerted effort on her part not to stare. 

She doesn’t even know where to look. His eyes, a beautiful sable, his lips, pouting and plush. His jaw that is sharp and emphasizes the irregularity of his features. Somehow it all comes together. 

Rey walks over to him and extends a hand. 

“Mr. Solo?”

He smiles, lips pulling up and eyes sparkling. It is a beautiful sight. 

She feels his warm, smooth palm encompass her own and freezes for a moment, nearly forgetting how to breathe. 

_What is wrong with me?_

Breaking from a trance, she moves her hand down to her side, fist clenched unconsciously. 

“Call me Ben.” he offers evenly.

“I’m Rey Johnson. I’ll be your doctor.”

She turns on her heel and begins walking, speaking over her shoulder in his direction. 

“If you’ll just follow me to my office, we can get started.”

She hears him behind her and quells the feelings of nervousness twisting traitorously in her stomach. 

_This is a client intake session, not a first date._

She just can’t remember a time when she had a patient quite so attractive. 

As she leads the way into her office, she motions to the soft leather armchair to the side of her desk. 

Rolling her own office chair around, she stops a respectful distance away. 

Having just opened, they hadn’t invested in a couch yet. 

Rey knew it was cliche, but the personal touch of sitting on the couch next to her typical clientele, young people and women, continuously paid off. She wanted them to feel known, loved, trusted. 

In her years of practice, she had observed physical closeness as a wonderful way to help patients feel open to sharing their concerns with her. A direct pathway into vulnerability.

As it was, this temporary setup was making do fine. 

She grabs a notepad and sits down in the chair, crossing her legs. 

Beginning to log the date, she starts the procedural questions. 

“So I had my assistant contact your previous practice to get notes on your sessions, but we have not heard back yet. I’ll just need you to be detailed in your paperwork, which I will send home with you at the close of today’s session. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem at all, Dr. Johnson.”

“Great. And I trust Miss. Konnix gave you our informed consent and social media policy?”

“Yes, I gave it back to her.”

Rey looked up from her writing to make eye contact for the next words. She was only slightly more prepared for his pleasant expression. 

“Okay, great. So I know in our questionnaire via the website you mentioned some persistent feelings of sadness and loneliness. Why don’t you tell me a little more about that— go as far back as you need, we have time.”

He took a deep breath as if steadying himself. 

“I’m a bit of a headcase…” he began with a self-deprecating chuckle.

Rey’s lips quirked. She was familiar with this particular method of coping and prepared herself for an hour and a half of hard truths thinly veiled as comedy. 

“Remember everything you say is confidential. I’m not here to judge you, I’m here to help you, in any way I can,” she said with a smile, looking into his eyes. 

She knew the spiel was cheesy, maybe he’d heard it before since he wasn’t new to therapy. Nevertheless, Rey thought it was important to establish a relationship of careful empathy. 

She would never get to the root of the issue and do real good if she didn’t have complete honesty. 

He returned her grin and continued. 

“Well, I was raised in the home of two people who never quite figured out how to make a marriage work. They divorced when I was 11, and maintained a contentious relationship until my father died right before I graduated college.” 

Rey nodded, making a note. 

“And what did you study?”

“Culinary arts. I worked as a chef at a few restaurants over the years and I opened my own restaurant 30 minutes north of here two years ago. I like to think we do pretty well.” He added with a slight wink. 

That wink did something to her. 

Regaining consciousness, she pressed on. 

“You were saying something about your parents?”

His cheerful expression dimmed. 

“Ah.. yes so I moved away from home to take a job outside Lawrenceburg…”

His deep voice drifts through the air, accompanied by the soft piano emanating from the speaker on her desk. 

He tells her of his time working as a sous chef, making her laugh with a few anecdotes. His journey towards head chef, the way he hopped from city to city, following jobs. 

Through it all, he returns to the pervasive loneliness. The feeling of sorrow deep inside him, never banished by social gatherings, raucous parties thrown by the staff. 

He admits with hesitancy that he tried to chase the feeling with alcohol, but quickly learned that it affected his performance at work. 

He recalls the night he realized professional help might be the answer. 

“So I stood out, on that bridge, and I just… I let it consume me. I felt like I could just, run away from it all. The feeling was winning over everything else. I couldn’t remember anything positive to stop me. But then, then I got a call. Right at that moment, I got a call from someone who knows me well. Knew my parents, was there for the implosion. She called to ask me about her soufflé. It’s an ongoing thing between us— she claims she can’t get a soufflé to rise no matter how hard she tries.”

As he speaks of the woman, his eyes lighten and take on an expression of reverie. 

“So she tells me about her soufflé and suddenly I just… I’m brought back. It’s freezing, I’m leaning over the railing of a bridge, and I’m about to make a choice. 

I realized I wanted to be around when Maz’s soufflé rose. 

So I made my way back home, passed out on my couch still in my coat, and the next morning I made an appointment to see a psychologist.”

Rey smiles widely. “That is an amazing testimony— thank you for sharing it with me. I’m really proud of you for making the decision to seek help. So, how many providers have you had— just give me a rundown of your history in treatment if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. So, I began in Johnstown with Dr. Greenberg. He had me begin with antidepressants. That worked for a time, but then I got another offer in the South. My new doctor in Franklin was Dr. Perez. She was lovely. We tried another medication, I began making a concerted effort to socialize…”

And on it went. Each time, Ben gave a glowing review of the doctor, but every time, he moved to a new place before he completely settled. 

“...and now here I am, with you, Dr. Johnson.” He finishes with a slight wave of his hand. 

Rey casts a furtive glance at the clock. Time has rushed by, and their 90 minutes is nearly up. Rey has paperwork to fill out before she can go home. 

“Wonderful. I’m so glad you’ve chosen to work with me— I can’t wait to get started. How are you feeling about everything?”

“Good, I’m ready to get started, too.”

“Great, What I’d like you to do before our next session is fill out those forms I talked about— be as detailed as you feel comfortable with. You can bring them to your next appointment and we’ll review together. Does that sound good?”

“Sure thing.”

“I’ll walk you to the desk, Kaydel will get payment and scheduling figured out. So good to meet you, Ben.”

He beams and it melts her just a little. 

“Great to meet you, Dr. Johnson”

As she heads back towards the office she hears his response to Kaydel asking about payment methods, the timbre of his voice contrasting with her airy tone. 

Rey adjusts her chair and just sits. She contemplates the past hour and a half, silently commending herself for maintaining professionalism. 

Rubbing a hand across her face, she chuckles. 

What an interesting time this will be. 

_____________

Later, as she is finishing up emails to patients and her research advisor, she comes across a response from one of Ben’s previous doctors. 

Dated hours before, it reads:

Dr. Lynn Donaldson’s Office:

**Dear Dr. Johnson.**

**We are sorry for the delayed response to your inquiry. Unfortunately, the untimely death of Dr. Donaldson has thrown our office out of normal operation.**

**We are unable to currently access the information you requested because of the sensitive nature of her death. We will get back to you if the situation changes.**

**Sincerely,**

**Donaldson & Associates**

**883 Drury Lane, Millersville, CT**

**Office: 202-555-0137**

**Fax: 202-555-0133**

Puzzled, Rey googles the practice. Immediately, news articles from different websites pop up, proclaiming the tragic death of Lynn Donaldson, mother of 3 and pillar of the community. 

She apparently went out one night and never returned. 

The entire case is shrouded in mystery. 

_Why wouldn’t he mention this? Does he know?_

She frowns. 

An email pops up just then, from Benjamin Solo. 

_Speak of the devil_. 

It is a brief message with a PDF attachment— his paperwork. 

_That was fast_.

She clicks it open and scrolls to “medical history.” 

Dr. Greenberg, of West Loring Group. 

Dr. Perez, of an eponymous practice in Franklin, TN. 

Dr. Louiston, of Matthews Village Associates.

And the late Dr. Donaldson, of Millersville, CT. 

She pauses before giving in to the temptation. Call it intuition. 

Typing the names into the search bar, a growing sense of dread tingles along her spine. 

It’s no mystery his past psychologists can’t give her feedback. 

They are all dead. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to hear what you think! New chapter coming soon.


End file.
